World AIDS Day

I grew up in a very remote area in Northern Wisconsin. Before I left for college, I didn't know another gay man, much less a gay man who had AIDS. But, like many other people in my age group, I did grow up hearing about AIDS on the evening news many nights, when it was still a story that was covered often. When I finally left for college, the first gay man I met who was very open about his HIV status was Dave. He was a big, teddy-bear type of guy with dark, curly hair that was just starting to show a little gray. He was a gentle giant, but watch out if someone tried to hurt a friend of his. Looking back, I know he must have been having plenty of struggles, but you wouldn't have been able to tell it. He always had a smile to share, always a hug to give and always an ear to listen. There were many times when Dave listened to my "traumatic" tales of boyfriend betrayals, bitchy cat-fights and all of the other trivial details of a young guy without a clue who was doing his best to come out of the closet. But, Dave never judged. He just listened, smiled and always gave me some really good advice. Dave loved to do drag. Like I said, he was a big guy. His brother played in the NFL, and if Dave was so inclined he had the build to take his place on the defensive line. But, his preferred stage was under bright lights, in a bright dress. I used to dj at the gay bar in my small college town, and there were many times I would play a song for Dave. His favorite number was "Hero," by Mariah Carey. Dave would never have claimed to be a great drag performer, but he loved it and he had fun doing it. It was one of the many lessons I learned from Dave. If you enjoy doing something, do it. Who cares what others say. There may be people who have an unkind comment, but there will also be people who appreciate you and what you do because when you have a real joy for something you shine from within. Dave died a few years ago. I'll never forget him, and I'm sure there are many other people out there who are remembering someone special today who they lost to AIDS. Dave will always be a hero to me, so on this World's AIDS Day, I dedicate that song to him. Never Forget.